The most powerful lesson Jared learned was something he and I called anticipatory forgiveness. Here is Jared's description from the pages of one of his journal entries:
"As I think of times I have had conflicts with my spouse or others, these conflicts usually have left me with two contrary feelings—first, a feeling of the need to convince the other person that I was right; and second, a feeling of rejection. Although I describe these two feelings as contrary, the one feeling would usually lead to the other. For example, the need to feel that I was right would lead me to feel bad, which would lead me to want to feel good about myself, which would lead me to desire the feeling that I was right. This cycle of feelings became a burden. While I do not understand completely why my personality fell into that cycle, I do know that it was likely based on my failure to appreciate the person I was.
"Anticipatory forgiveness has helped me to relieve, and in some cases remove, that burden in my life. Instead of nurturing those feelings during times of conflict, my mind is now focused on listening to the other person and objectively looking at other issues that might be contributing to the conflict. In some ways, forgiveness has already occurred on my part, and I am ready to reconcile and move on. It's like putting on sunblock before going into the sun. The healing balm of forgiveness takes the sting out of the conflict and the hurt, and even soothes the pain.
"I believe that anticipatory forgiveness relates to those gospel principles surrounding the concept of forgiveness. I wonder about Christ's statement that we are required to forgive all men [see D&C 64:10]. I have often thought about the difficulty of this requirement for me. With my limited understanding, I wonder about forgiving those who have really wronged or hurt me. As I have thought about the life of Christ, I think He practices anticipatory forgiveness in the purest form. Because of his unique role in the plan of happiness, He has already anticipated my faults and frailties. He has the ability to see me as a whole person and judge me based upon my heart. When He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, it was at that time that anticipatory forgiveness was granted to me and to all men."
In Doctrine and Covenants 84:61, the Lord says, "For I will forgive you of your sins with this commandment—that you remain steadfast in your minds in solemnity and the spirit of prayer, in bearing testimony to all the world of those things which are communicated unto you." Herein is another expression of anticipatory forgiveness.
Perhaps we, like Jared, can learn to anticipate the opportunities to forgive and do as Jared learned to do—ask daily, "Whom may I forgive today?"